I was still in my shorts and the T-shirt i had on was greenish brownish but if i remember correctly it was a blue T-shirt when i bought or stole it from a school mate in High School. I was secretly trying to say a prayer as my girlfriend shoved me out the house and out the door. The last time i was in church, Saddam Hussein was still a favourite and winning a re-election in Iraq.
Trying to drive at full speed when you are barefoot is not easy. I have an old car whose pedals are made of rough metal which were seriously skinning my heels off as my girlfriend screamed at me to drive faster and faster. Women are ridiculous, a few days ago she dint want me past 40km/h and now here we are driving at 120km/h and she still doesn't think am driving fast enough. Every time i changed my feet from the accelerator to the clutch to the brakes was like dipping my feet in hot coal. From all the movies i have seen, whenever a woman announces her water just broke, everyone around cheers and congratulates her and she is calmly taken to the hospital, why the hell then does my girlfriend have to torture me or had i been watching the wrong movies all this time.
About 2 kilometers to the hospital, my girlfriend was at it, again grimacing and her hand squeezing my thigh where it had left off. That was the thigh connected to the leg that's connected to the foot that's supposed to step on the clutch and change gear. But here i was, approaching a sharp bend and couldn't slow down or engage a lower gear. I immediately grabbed her her hand, threw it off me and shouted at her, "Honey, how soon do you want that baby out?" She replied, "NOW!" i shouted back again at her, "D'yu wonna do it here on the road?" "NO! AT THE HOSPITAL, STUPID!" she shot back. "Good, then quit pinching my thigh otherwise you and that baby will go out through the windscreen if we crash on this bend!" i also shot back as i engaged a higher gear instead and zoomed past the bend like crazy.
When we got to the Maternity wing at the hospital, the nurses looked at my girlfriend and then one look at me and they all felt sorry for me. One nurse came to me and asked whether i was a patient, i was just about to reply rudely when she plus the entourage of nurses behind her burst out laughing. Before i could figure out how much worse this day could go, another nurse approaches me with a night dress and tells me to put it on because "You almost have a very handsome face but you should give back those legs to the crocodile you stole them from!" she says.
Trying to drive at full speed when you are barefoot is not easy. I have an old car whose pedals are made of rough metal which were seriously skinning my heels off as my girlfriend screamed at me to drive faster and faster. Women are ridiculous, a few days ago she dint want me past 40km/h and now here we are driving at 120km/h and she still doesn't think am driving fast enough. Every time i changed my feet from the accelerator to the clutch to the brakes was like dipping my feet in hot coal. From all the movies i have seen, whenever a woman announces her water just broke, everyone around cheers and congratulates her and she is calmly taken to the hospital, why the hell then does my girlfriend have to torture me or had i been watching the wrong movies all this time.
About 2 kilometers to the hospital, my girlfriend was at it, again grimacing and her hand squeezing my thigh where it had left off. That was the thigh connected to the leg that's connected to the foot that's supposed to step on the clutch and change gear. But here i was, approaching a sharp bend and couldn't slow down or engage a lower gear. I immediately grabbed her her hand, threw it off me and shouted at her, "Honey, how soon do you want that baby out?" She replied, "NOW!" i shouted back again at her, "D'yu wonna do it here on the road?" "NO! AT THE HOSPITAL, STUPID!" she shot back. "Good, then quit pinching my thigh otherwise you and that baby will go out through the windscreen if we crash on this bend!" i also shot back as i engaged a higher gear instead and zoomed past the bend like crazy.
When we got to the Maternity wing at the hospital, the nurses looked at my girlfriend and then one look at me and they all felt sorry for me. One nurse came to me and asked whether i was a patient, i was just about to reply rudely when she plus the entourage of nurses behind her burst out laughing. Before i could figure out how much worse this day could go, another nurse approaches me with a night dress and tells me to put it on because "You almost have a very handsome face but you should give back those legs to the crocodile you stole them from!" she says.
