A study done ( i don't know where.) proved that men think about getting some action every 4 seconds. That my friend is a lot of times. So now am walking into the office whistling to a song i just heard playing in a TukTuk, reason for my excitement, am trying to prove that theory up there right.
I sit at my desk and daydream of how much action am going to be getting now that my girlfriend is pregnant. see, now there wont be issues of 'that time of the month', no pills, no scary thoughts of what-if, its going to be pure Tyre-to-the-tarmac action. Yeah, i tell myself, I'm gonn hit that thing till it shifts.

Well, lets just say my excitement and my day dream ends there. I cannot remember the last time i got some action since that 'honey, I'm pregnant' day, damn its been months. i remember the last time i pleaded with her to gimme some i had to entice her by taking her to dinner and when we got home i went to the loo to pee only to come to the bedroom and find her snoring, with one shoe on and the other one hanging by the curtain drapes (am guessing it ended up there as she kicked them off her feet). Remember that excuse women have when you are ready for action "I have a headache darling' ? well my girlfriend had two headaches, one at the back of her head and the other on her forehead, all day everyday. I got all kind of excuses. She told me she was scared i was going to ' poke' the baby. "Woman, that thing don't even have a face yet, crap". she even went 'biological' on me by telling that now her uterus was a little lower and so she was afraid i would hit it and shift it. "Shift it to where, your buttocks?". sometimes we would go to bed and she would put on more clothes insisting she was feeling cold. "since when do pregnant women feel cold".
So i sat on my desk, with the smile on my face completely wiped out, i sadly count the no. of months i haven't got any, "1, 2, 3,4,.....Holy mother!!"